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Find One, Build One blog tour

March 2, 2009
What He Must Be

What He Must Be

Voddie Baucham has written a book that griped my attention right off, the book is titled What He Must Be… If He wants to Marry my Daughter and since I have a daughter, and two sons for that matter, I indeed wanted to know what to look for in a husband for her while at the same time raising my sons to be Godly husbands.

I want to thank Crossway books for allowing me to be involved in this blog tour. Over the next couple of days I will be posting excerpts along with discussion questions to see what others think.  It is also my pleasure to announce that I am able to give away two copies of this book if you would like receive one of these copies email me at with your name and mailing address be the first two to respond and I will send you a copy.

Here is today excerpt:

Imagine a family who did not prepare their children for college. This would be unthinkable in today’s world. Everyone prepares their child for an academic future. Day-care programs boast about the head start they will give children in their “academic careers.” We buy houses in neighborhoods with “the best schools.” Beyond that, many families place their children in expensive preparatory schools, enduring tremendous financial burdens, incurring debt, and commuting hours each day in an effort to give their children an edge in that all-important race for the apex of academia.

However, little thought is given to preparing our sons to be husbands. Thus, they meander through life without the skills or mind-set necessary to play this most important role until one day, having met “the one,” they pop the question, set a date, and-in the rarest of cases-go to the pastor to learn everything they need to know about being the priest, prophet, provider, and protector of a household in four one-hour sessions. In the words of that great theologian Dr. Phil, “How’s that workin’ for ya?”

As a result, we have families led by men who haven’t the foggiest idea what their role is or how to carry it out. We have wives who were created with a God-given need to be led by godly men, a curse from the days in the garden that puts them at odds with this arrangement, and a cultural mandate to fight against male headship. Top this off with children who long for the security that can only be found in clear roles and boundaries in the home, and the result is a frustrated family mired in dysfunction. Sound familiar?

If we have any desire to change this, we must begin to prepare young men to be husbands and fathers. We must stop preparing them for lives of selfishness, immediate gratification, and perpetual adolescence if we ever expect to turn the tide. The skills required of a husband and father take a lifetime to acquire. Our sons must begin to acquire them sooner rather than later. If we prepare our children to be husbands and wives, and God calls and equips them to be single, we have lost nothing. On the other hand, if we do not prepare our children to be husbands and wives, and they (like the overwhelming majority of people) end up married someday, we have lost a great deal. Prudence would point toward the necessity to prepare our children for marriage, and to do so with all diligence.

From What He Must Be: If He Wants to Marry My Daughter by Voddie Baucham ©2009, 42-44. Used by permission of Crossway Books, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, Il 60187,

And today’s questions:

What He Must Be is built on the premise that fathers have a God-given responsibility to see to it that their daughters marry well and that their sons become worthy husbands. What does it mean to prepare a son or a daughter for marriage? Is this really a fundamental duty of parents?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Courtney permalink
    March 2, 2009 9:57 pm

    Looks like a good book Don! This has been a huge thing on our hearts for about the last year. We have renovated our children’s books library here at home. Some titles that may be of interest for TRUE princess books from a biblical basis, for anyone who is interested that reads your blog:
    The Person I Marry (by Gary Bowers)
    The Squire and the Scroll (by Jennie Bishop) – EXCELLENT author!!!!
    The Princess and the Kiss (by Jennie Bishop) – These two are HIGHLY recommended!
    The Garden Wall (by Jennie Bishop)
    The True Princess (by Angela Elwell Hunt and Diana Magnuson)

    Those are some of my kids’ favorites and not just good moral, but puts God at the center of even our desire for marriage and love, and our son enjoys them too, especially Jennie Bishop’s. Walt Disney books don’t stand up to these wonderful books – because Cinderella, etc have poor theology.


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